A Day in The Life: Mother, Writer, Music Lover

This morning, The Goo dallied at breakfast. It was weird.

I'm not saying she doesn't savour her meals. She does.

I think.

It's just that this morning she had been in Diva! Mode flinging herself on the floor and repeatedly throwing my phone so when she smiled at her Peanut Butter and Jam (nope, not Jelly) sandwich and said, "Triangle"...I didn't know what to expect.

I certainly didn't expect her to take her time to nibble and chew with contemplative pleasure. I could have taken a picture but she doesn't like paparazzi and I didn't want her to toss my phone. She went late to school, holding a sandwich in her hand. She was happy. I was relieved.

Right now, I'm listening to Maria Mena's single Just Hold Me. I love it. Favourite line - If I like rejection, I'll audition. I'm having a Coke from The Can. I'm not supposed to, but I was out in the sun, and this is how I choose to celebrate surviving it. Tastes good. I may have another.

In about two hours, I'll be out in the sun again to go pay for a 6 month online writing course. I hate being blocked, and for someone who has always had fear as a bed fellow, I've decided I would rather write than be afraid of writing utter crap.

What's the antidote for fear? Information. Knowledge is Power. I used to be able to say that in Latin (thanks to Catholic Boarding School). Anyway, writing course to be paid for today. I made a deal with Cho (my BFF) that I would start writing short stories come April 1st.

Am I the only one who sees the irony in that?

Maria Mena is on repeat. I really like this song.

The Road To Hell...

...is paved with Good Intentions.

That about sums up my efforts with Good Intentions. I don't think I have ever had writer's block. Technically, I can't even say I believe in it. I know when I have failed to write it's often because I'm too tired, too lazy or too out of sorts to write. With Good Intentions, it's possible that it's a combination of all three, or just one out of three, or maybe I'm just blocked.

The thing is the more I think about the story I want to write, the less I want to write it. It's just not enough 'story' to justify the work required. Or maybe I'm being lazy.

I tend to internalize a lot of things, and my characters are doing that as well, and stories are about externalizations of conflict not gut burning emotions. The obvious solution would be to have them act out because of their emotions but anything I think up feels so contrived. Sigh.

I'm such a basket case.

Papa Goo thinks I should dump them and do the short story thing. Believe me, I am sorely tempted. Not writing is making me feel guilty which makes me feel out of sorts which impinges (Word of The Day) on my ability to write.

A vicious cycle.

...Sigh. That's my Good Intentions update.

How's your day going?