Delightfully Inconsistent

Show of hands if that describes you in any way, form or manner.

*raises hand and waves*

Yup, I thought so. I'm a card carrying member of that merry band, along with Procrastinators Anonymous. I'm also the mother of The Goo, who when she says the magic word, "@*%"x@" transforms into Super Goo, The Nocturnal Terror.

(PS. The Nocturnal Terror is only one of her many aliases)

Anyway, I'm part of this Blog Tour, invited by my good friend and fellow mummy-writer, Sifa Asani Gowon - www.sifushka.blogspot.com . The deal is she mentioned me on her blog (last Monday) and answered some questions, and then (This Monday) I mention her and three other bloggers, and answer some questions.

It's like a chain letter for blogs, men, dude!

(Does it show that I am sleep deprived?)

So first, the questions:

1. What am I working on?
I am working on (putting the finishing touches on) Anthology 2. It's a collection of stories by female Nigerian writers invited by yours truly to give us Nigerian happy endings. Why happy endings? I'm glad you asked - 'cos the world is depressing as it is. I would like to read something that gives me hope, that tells me it's okay to dream a way out of this pit we've dug ourselves into (talking to you, Nigerians!). So yeah. We're basically done, and in a couple of weeks, I'll be sending it to the publisher, and then going to pray :D

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre?
I don't know. Happy endings, I suppose.
(That makes no sense)
I don't know - I haven't really decided on a genre of choice, so I can't say. Feel free to call me Madam Gender-Bender.
(Wait. What?)

3. Why do I write what I do?
Ah!
I like to make people feel. If I can tug at an emotion then I'm happy. Oddly enough, writing happy endings is not exactly easy. (It's not easy, Period!) But it's worth it.

4. How does my writing process work?
That's a funny question.
Hmm. Well, first my internal discipline lever is broken so yeah...but external pressure (I'm ashamed to say) like deadlines are great. That's why the anthologies plan for the year 2014 is so great for me. But my process specifically - I ignore everything else - The Goo, Papa Goo, Meals, Housework and so on - and write. If it's good, yay! If it's not delete, and try again. Later...

So that's me (gosh, I'm entertaining). Next week, you'll hear from:

Kiah, who reads and writes, and likes to eat fried plantain, every day, all day.
www.kiahsscript.com

Pamela Agboga, who writes poems, playlets, short stories and articles.  She recently published her first novel, Weekends are For Loving, and is currently working on a movie script with a friend. She loves reading novels, and watching movies as much as writing, maybe even more, and hopes to beat her writing deadlines this year...so far so good.
www.chowilson.wordpress.com

Xavier Ighorodje, who is a writer of weird fiction, and has not seen it fit to supply his photograph or a bio. So hopefully, this will do (and shame him a little. Muah ha ha!)
www.mrxavierighorodje.wordpress.com

Where were we?

Hey hey hey!

I dropped off the map. I know. I wanted to try out writing, rather than just blogging about writing, and as usual, found the process frustrating and depressing. Alas, maybe I am not supposed to be a writer.

Sigh.
But wait...The Farafina Trust Creative Writing Workshop called for entries. I sent in mine. What would it hurt? And I was invited for the workshop.

Yay!

I'm not so bad. Lazy, and lacking discipline and self control (damn romance novels. And chocolate. And cake), but not a bad writer.

Whoooopeeee!

Workshop took 10 days. A couple of my fellow participants - Uche and Sifa - blogged about Day 1, and yes, it was life changing stuff.

Can you see me? Hint: Pink shawl

So now what?

Now to make my wonderful teachers proud. Speaking of teachers, a very big THANK YOU to Chimamanda Adichie, Eghosa Imasuen, Binyanvanga Wainaina, and Aslak Sira Mhyre for investing their time and knowledge in me, and all of us (The Girls and Boys Club of Chimamanda).

I'm off now to make it work.

PS. A big Thank You also to Papa Goo and The Goo for giving Mummy some time off. Big Hug!

Conversations with Myself

Me: I want a coke.

Myself: Take water.

Me: But I really want a coke.

Myself: Water is better.

Me: Cooooke!

Myself: How about fruit juice? Or fruit?

Me: Fruit juice? Hmm.

Myself: Better than a coke.

Me: Hmm. Coke.

Myself: How about a malt?

Me: Hmm. Maaalt.

Myself: Yup. Malt.

Me: I'd rather have a coke.

Myself: Why don't you just get yourself a coke?

I am now drinking a coke.

In other news, Hey! It's been a while. No, I have not been avoiding you. I've just been mostly knackered. All I had energy for after taking care of The Goo and Papa Goo was to read.

 

   

      2013 Reading Challenge
   

       

         
       

     

        Timendu has
             read 138 books toward her goal of 300 books.
     

     

       

hide

     

     

        138 of 300 (46%)
     

       

          view books
       

 

   

So that's what I've been up to.

Oh yeah, and I've upped my challenge goal back to 300. Fun times!

I know I should say something about my writing but honestly, I don't want to. I will say, I ALWAYS expect things to be easy - school, marriage, childbirth (no words!), writing a book, but they NEVER are.

So...that's all folks!

Q1: A Review

Hey Everyone,

Yes, I know I disappeared for a bit. No, I still haven't gotten any writing done. I did read a lot of books. Some wonderful and mind blowing - 26A by Diana Evans, The Dating Detox by Gemma Burgess, The Mrs. Club by Ekene Onu, Miss Match by Erynn Mangum, The Other Woman's Shoes by Adele Parks among others.

I did not register for the writing course. I tried to pay online for 3 days and did not succeed and as a result missed the discount window. Will I still take the course? Oh yes, but now there's no hurry. Besides, the money has gone to other things like rechargeable standing fans, and car repairs, and replacing the sliding door.

Anyway, it's April and I should start writing short stories. I may or may not put them up. I haven't decided yet. Maybe I'll let Cho decide. However, for now, here's a little something from me.

Enjoy!

PS. If this post seems brusque, it's because The Goo isn't feeling well, and won't eat, and therefore can't take her medicine...I'm pulling my hair out over here. Say a prayer for her, will you.

A Day in The Life: Mother, Writer, Music Lover

This morning, The Goo dallied at breakfast. It was weird.

I'm not saying she doesn't savour her meals. She does.

I think.

It's just that this morning she had been in Diva! Mode flinging herself on the floor and repeatedly throwing my phone so when she smiled at her Peanut Butter and Jam (nope, not Jelly) sandwich and said, "Triangle"...I didn't know what to expect.

I certainly didn't expect her to take her time to nibble and chew with contemplative pleasure. I could have taken a picture but she doesn't like paparazzi and I didn't want her to toss my phone. She went late to school, holding a sandwich in her hand. She was happy. I was relieved.

Right now, I'm listening to Maria Mena's single Just Hold Me. I love it. Favourite line - If I like rejection, I'll audition. I'm having a Coke from The Can. I'm not supposed to, but I was out in the sun, and this is how I choose to celebrate surviving it. Tastes good. I may have another.

In about two hours, I'll be out in the sun again to go pay for a 6 month online writing course. I hate being blocked, and for someone who has always had fear as a bed fellow, I've decided I would rather write than be afraid of writing utter crap.

What's the antidote for fear? Information. Knowledge is Power. I used to be able to say that in Latin (thanks to Catholic Boarding School). Anyway, writing course to be paid for today. I made a deal with Cho (my BFF) that I would start writing short stories come April 1st.

Am I the only one who sees the irony in that?

Maria Mena is on repeat. I really like this song.

The Road To Hell...

...is paved with Good Intentions.

That about sums up my efforts with Good Intentions. I don't think I have ever had writer's block. Technically, I can't even say I believe in it. I know when I have failed to write it's often because I'm too tired, too lazy or too out of sorts to write. With Good Intentions, it's possible that it's a combination of all three, or just one out of three, or maybe I'm just blocked.

The thing is the more I think about the story I want to write, the less I want to write it. It's just not enough 'story' to justify the work required. Or maybe I'm being lazy.

I tend to internalize a lot of things, and my characters are doing that as well, and stories are about externalizations of conflict not gut burning emotions. The obvious solution would be to have them act out because of their emotions but anything I think up feels so contrived. Sigh.

I'm such a basket case.

Papa Goo thinks I should dump them and do the short story thing. Believe me, I am sorely tempted. Not writing is making me feel guilty which makes me feel out of sorts which impinges (Word of The Day) on my ability to write.

A vicious cycle.

...Sigh. That's my Good Intentions update.

How's your day going?

I'm a Writer: Being Passive Aggressive

Wow!

It's been another two weeks.

I really don't know what to say. Sorry seems to be the hardest word (sing it Elton!)

Anyway, contrary to the title of this post (the first part), I have not been writing. Not really. I should have written 8 articles and cleared my schedule till the end of the year, but I've written 2.

Why? See the second part of the title.

I didn't know I was passive aggressive till I got married. On a side note, you never know how angry and how often you can get angry till you get married. To all my single ladies out there, practice deep breathing and counting to ten before you meet The One. It will come in handy.

Anyway, what does being passive aggressive have to do with life as a writer? Well, when you write for clients who pay you per article, you find out rather quickly that most people are not blessed with your kind of genius. As a matter of fact, they tend to land at the other end of the intelligence meter.

...(excuse me while I count to ten)...so let's say I'm supposed to write 8 articles, and my client is supposed to pay me for 5 articles already written, and does not do so, nor see it fit to inform me that said money will not be paid in at agreed upon time, well then, that just gets my goat.

But I am nothing, if not professional, so what do I do - I delay said client's work till they are gagging for it, and then instead of 8, I send in 1 just before they are to go to press. I don't know why but it warms the cockles of me heart to see them scramble.

Unfortunately, I am also a creature of habit, and after a while, I am unable to bring myself to deliver said client's work in time. Ever again. This pains me because I keep hearing Neil Gaiman's voice in my head saying, "Send in your work on time. Make sure it's good work. Make sure you're a pleasure to work with", or something along those lines. It's just that between myself and said client there is an almost septic yet cordial culture of disrespect.

It's not good for me, and I don't know if I should continue. The work is fairly challenging. The money is handy, but I pick up bad habits very easily, and they have turned out to be such evil communication.

Whatever shall I do?

It's not you, It's me.

So...how many of you know Steve Harris?

Show of hands please.

Lovely.

If you don't, check out his website.

Anyway, Harris is a life strategist. A kind of life coach meets bully. Seriously.

He just threatened to kick me off his program, if I didn't get here straightaway and update this 'ere blog.

So here I am. Hey, Harris *waving frantically*. We good?

Phew! The thing is, I'm not a brat. Or a difficult person. (ignore my lengthening nose please). I'm actually a well rounded individual with goals and deadlines and timelines, and do not at all struggle with procrastination, or poor time management, or an inability to prioritize. Nah! I'm damn near perfect.

My one flaw? I'm so talented, I think I can do everything.

It's true.

*Big grin*

Anyway, I'm sorry. Again. I got lazy. And a little overwhelmed. And mostly lazy. And so when the internet started acting up for a couple of days, I didn't come back. It's nothing personal I love that I have a blog, and that some people take time to check it out and even leave comments. Seriously! Like Wow! However, I'm a commitment-phobe so you're gonna have to be patient with me. Love me through my great days, and the days I don't show up without so much as a by your leave.

Why?

I'll make it worth your while. Honest. Just ask my husband.

And with that segue, check out Papa Goo's YouTube channel How She Left My Brother

PS. Yes, I know I owe you the rest of the egg shower. Wait till Thursday. Please. If I put it up now, then I may disappear for another 2 (or has it been 3) weeks.

Poems from a Sleepy Housewife(Writer)

One bright day

In the middle of the night

One housewife got up to write

Without tea

She yawned and yawned

Her fingers hovering over keyboard

She thought of Naruto

And thought, maybe just

One episode although write I must

Then she heard a crash and a cry

The Goo had just rolled off their bed.

True Story.