Delightfully Inconsistent

Show of hands if that describes you in any way, form or manner.

*raises hand and waves*

Yup, I thought so. I'm a card carrying member of that merry band, along with Procrastinators Anonymous. I'm also the mother of The Goo, who when she says the magic word, "@*%"x@" transforms into Super Goo, The Nocturnal Terror.

(PS. The Nocturnal Terror is only one of her many aliases)

Anyway, I'm part of this Blog Tour, invited by my good friend and fellow mummy-writer, Sifa Asani Gowon - www.sifushka.blogspot.com . The deal is she mentioned me on her blog (last Monday) and answered some questions, and then (This Monday) I mention her and three other bloggers, and answer some questions.

It's like a chain letter for blogs, men, dude!

(Does it show that I am sleep deprived?)

So first, the questions:

1. What am I working on?
I am working on (putting the finishing touches on) Anthology 2. It's a collection of stories by female Nigerian writers invited by yours truly to give us Nigerian happy endings. Why happy endings? I'm glad you asked - 'cos the world is depressing as it is. I would like to read something that gives me hope, that tells me it's okay to dream a way out of this pit we've dug ourselves into (talking to you, Nigerians!). So yeah. We're basically done, and in a couple of weeks, I'll be sending it to the publisher, and then going to pray :D

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre?
I don't know. Happy endings, I suppose.
(That makes no sense)
I don't know - I haven't really decided on a genre of choice, so I can't say. Feel free to call me Madam Gender-Bender.
(Wait. What?)

3. Why do I write what I do?
Ah!
I like to make people feel. If I can tug at an emotion then I'm happy. Oddly enough, writing happy endings is not exactly easy. (It's not easy, Period!) But it's worth it.

4. How does my writing process work?
That's a funny question.
Hmm. Well, first my internal discipline lever is broken so yeah...but external pressure (I'm ashamed to say) like deadlines are great. That's why the anthologies plan for the year 2014 is so great for me. But my process specifically - I ignore everything else - The Goo, Papa Goo, Meals, Housework and so on - and write. If it's good, yay! If it's not delete, and try again. Later...

So that's me (gosh, I'm entertaining). Next week, you'll hear from:

Kiah, who reads and writes, and likes to eat fried plantain, every day, all day.
www.kiahsscript.com

Pamela Agboga, who writes poems, playlets, short stories and articles.  She recently published her first novel, Weekends are For Loving, and is currently working on a movie script with a friend. She loves reading novels, and watching movies as much as writing, maybe even more, and hopes to beat her writing deadlines this year...so far so good.
www.chowilson.wordpress.com

Xavier Ighorodje, who is a writer of weird fiction, and has not seen it fit to supply his photograph or a bio. So hopefully, this will do (and shame him a little. Muah ha ha!)
www.mrxavierighorodje.wordpress.com

I'm a Writer: Being Passive Aggressive

Wow!

It's been another two weeks.

I really don't know what to say. Sorry seems to be the hardest word (sing it Elton!)

Anyway, contrary to the title of this post (the first part), I have not been writing. Not really. I should have written 8 articles and cleared my schedule till the end of the year, but I've written 2.

Why? See the second part of the title.

I didn't know I was passive aggressive till I got married. On a side note, you never know how angry and how often you can get angry till you get married. To all my single ladies out there, practice deep breathing and counting to ten before you meet The One. It will come in handy.

Anyway, what does being passive aggressive have to do with life as a writer? Well, when you write for clients who pay you per article, you find out rather quickly that most people are not blessed with your kind of genius. As a matter of fact, they tend to land at the other end of the intelligence meter.

...(excuse me while I count to ten)...so let's say I'm supposed to write 8 articles, and my client is supposed to pay me for 5 articles already written, and does not do so, nor see it fit to inform me that said money will not be paid in at agreed upon time, well then, that just gets my goat.

But I am nothing, if not professional, so what do I do - I delay said client's work till they are gagging for it, and then instead of 8, I send in 1 just before they are to go to press. I don't know why but it warms the cockles of me heart to see them scramble.

Unfortunately, I am also a creature of habit, and after a while, I am unable to bring myself to deliver said client's work in time. Ever again. This pains me because I keep hearing Neil Gaiman's voice in my head saying, "Send in your work on time. Make sure it's good work. Make sure you're a pleasure to work with", or something along those lines. It's just that between myself and said client there is an almost septic yet cordial culture of disrespect.

It's not good for me, and I don't know if I should continue. The work is fairly challenging. The money is handy, but I pick up bad habits very easily, and they have turned out to be such evil communication.

Whatever shall I do?