Delightfully Inconsistent

Show of hands if that describes you in any way, form or manner.

*raises hand and waves*

Yup, I thought so. I'm a card carrying member of that merry band, along with Procrastinators Anonymous. I'm also the mother of The Goo, who when she says the magic word, "@*%"x@" transforms into Super Goo, The Nocturnal Terror.

(PS. The Nocturnal Terror is only one of her many aliases)

Anyway, I'm part of this Blog Tour, invited by my good friend and fellow mummy-writer, Sifa Asani Gowon - www.sifushka.blogspot.com . The deal is she mentioned me on her blog (last Monday) and answered some questions, and then (This Monday) I mention her and three other bloggers, and answer some questions.

It's like a chain letter for blogs, men, dude!

(Does it show that I am sleep deprived?)

So first, the questions:

1. What am I working on?
I am working on (putting the finishing touches on) Anthology 2. It's a collection of stories by female Nigerian writers invited by yours truly to give us Nigerian happy endings. Why happy endings? I'm glad you asked - 'cos the world is depressing as it is. I would like to read something that gives me hope, that tells me it's okay to dream a way out of this pit we've dug ourselves into (talking to you, Nigerians!). So yeah. We're basically done, and in a couple of weeks, I'll be sending it to the publisher, and then going to pray :D

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre?
I don't know. Happy endings, I suppose.
(That makes no sense)
I don't know - I haven't really decided on a genre of choice, so I can't say. Feel free to call me Madam Gender-Bender.
(Wait. What?)

3. Why do I write what I do?
Ah!
I like to make people feel. If I can tug at an emotion then I'm happy. Oddly enough, writing happy endings is not exactly easy. (It's not easy, Period!) But it's worth it.

4. How does my writing process work?
That's a funny question.
Hmm. Well, first my internal discipline lever is broken so yeah...but external pressure (I'm ashamed to say) like deadlines are great. That's why the anthologies plan for the year 2014 is so great for me. But my process specifically - I ignore everything else - The Goo, Papa Goo, Meals, Housework and so on - and write. If it's good, yay! If it's not delete, and try again. Later...

So that's me (gosh, I'm entertaining). Next week, you'll hear from:

Kiah, who reads and writes, and likes to eat fried plantain, every day, all day.
www.kiahsscript.com

Pamela Agboga, who writes poems, playlets, short stories and articles.  She recently published her first novel, Weekends are For Loving, and is currently working on a movie script with a friend. She loves reading novels, and watching movies as much as writing, maybe even more, and hopes to beat her writing deadlines this year...so far so good.
www.chowilson.wordpress.com

Xavier Ighorodje, who is a writer of weird fiction, and has not seen it fit to supply his photograph or a bio. So hopefully, this will do (and shame him a little. Muah ha ha!)
www.mrxavierighorodje.wordpress.com

Wowwy Wow Wow!

Just one post this year!

Wow!

I did not know that...I had put up only one post (so far) this year.

How did that happen? Well, I'm glad you asked.

First off, internet woes - here's looking at you Spectranet *wink*

Then, been busy busy busy - edited one anthology.
It's been sent off to a couple of publishers, now we wait with fingers crossed, on bended knees.
Then edited one book for a client.
Now in the middle of editing another anthology.
Details coming very soon (soon and very soon), just waiting for certain people to send in their stories. I won't be calling names or pointing fingers, but they know who they are.

Also been busy with non-work stuff - like being The Goo's Social Director and Stylist and Escort.

Participating in a Married vs. Single Ladies Cooking Competition (a cook-off?) at Church,

and just being generally busy, and tired and living life...like it's golden.

Hee hee.

Anyway, here's a little something something from me to you. Enjoy!

The recently developed off-planet colony of Nirvana was up and running. Marketed by the Relocate Earth Department of the United Nations as the home of the future for all who loved beauty and creation, it had drawn the brightest and the best of Earth's Recreative Movement. Of course, the brightest and the best needed their support system, so Nirvana was also home to maids, drivers, cooks, teachers, and spiritual directors.

Oh and Tech Support. You can't have an off planet colony running like clockwork without Tech Support. Enter T.

"Call me T", she was known to say. She loved Nirvana. She had always been idealistic, believing that Utopia was out there somewhere, so when she heard that the United Nations and a few Mega Corporations had been secretly developing an off planet colony just outside Earth's solar system, she was ecstatic.

"Nothing to get excited about babe", her friend Z, had told her, "I mean daddy says it will take forever before it's finished, and even then it will be an uber-exclusive set of people who will be relocated".

"I'll find a way", T had replied, and she had. Her friendship with Z had been instrumental. You see Z's daddy was a cosmetic surgeon. He straddled the line between recreative and support system. He was definitely getting on The Nirvana List.

"Big Daddy", T said to him, over the phone, "how are you going to get me on that list?"

"Why are you calling? Aren't you coming over?"

"Nah. Z asked me to go clubbing with her, and she'll get suspicious if I blow her off".

"Come home with her then. You can come to my room when she's asleep".

"Yes sir", she said, grinning, and hung up.

That night, he promised to think about it, but T knew he was lying, so she when she snuck back into her friend's room in the wee hours of the morning she put Plan B into play.

"Z, you know you and your dad are getting on the list".

"Probably, but The United Nations isn't as squeaky clean as it used to be. That list is going to be up for grabs to the highest bidder".

T sighed, "I wish I had money like you guys. I would so pay for a place on that list".

"Aaaw. Don't worry. You know you're my girl. I'll talk to daddy. We'll find a way".

Two days later, Z called. "T baby, guess what?"

"What?"

"Your name's getting on the list", Z screamed.

T screamed too, "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you so much. You are the best friend ever".

"You know it. You’ll be on the list as my Backup Buddy".

"Backup Buddy?"

"Don't worry. It's just a new department. It's a not a lot of work, and you get paid Mega Bucks".

Mega Bucks? T was sold, in more ways than she realised.

When they got to Nirvana, Z and her daddy moved to The Estate. T moved to a nameless shanty town. A few days later, Z drove her hovercraft too close to a gas flare. She survived, but lost an arm.

Enter the Backup Buddy.

Two years in, and Z's reckless living had cost T two arms and both legs. Cutting edge technology ensured the perfection of Nirvana a la Z remained unmarred. T was support system. Perfection was not a requirement.

But at least she was in Nirvana.

THE END...so far

Tomorrow (hopefully) - Pictures and Stuff. Have a great day!

Happy New Year!

How did you cross over?

Where were you and what were you doing?

Like most Nigerian Christians, I was at Church, praying my way into the New Year. My husband used to take umbrage at this way of moving into a New Year but he's married to me now so umbrage or not, we go to Church.

I'm going to try really hard not to be preachy but this is my first post of the year (Yay!) so bear with me...

And now I've lost my train of thought (yup, old age).

Oh well, let's talk about a much maligned word - Resolutions.

Do you have any?

I do:

Write. Finish a novel and edit 3 anthologies.

Read 50 books.

Be happy. Take deep breaths. Don't be so easily offended.

Be emotionally independent. Do not allow other people's mood swings swing your moods.

Love. Be patient. Be kind. Do not keep a record of wrongs.

That's it.

There should be something about weight loss and exercise but those aren't resolutions. They are on my to do list. Speaking of weight loss, here's a little sumthin' from the wonderful Miss Wana Wana. It's called Weight Loss. I saw her perform it at Bogobiri and I loved it and her. If you ever can, see her live.

Anywhichway, Happy New Year.

Make Glorious Mistakes. Make Glorious Art.

PS. I figured out (more like discovered) how to do this. Phew!

Conversations with Myself

Me: I want a coke.

Myself: Take water.

Me: But I really want a coke.

Myself: Water is better.

Me: Cooooke!

Myself: How about fruit juice? Or fruit?

Me: Fruit juice? Hmm.

Myself: Better than a coke.

Me: Hmm. Coke.

Myself: How about a malt?

Me: Hmm. Maaalt.

Myself: Yup. Malt.

Me: I'd rather have a coke.

Myself: Why don't you just get yourself a coke?

I am now drinking a coke.

In other news, Hey! It's been a while. No, I have not been avoiding you. I've just been mostly knackered. All I had energy for after taking care of The Goo and Papa Goo was to read.

 

   

      2013 Reading Challenge
   

       

         
       

     

        Timendu has
             read 138 books toward her goal of 300 books.
     

     

       

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        138 of 300 (46%)
     

       

          view books
       

 

   

So that's what I've been up to.

Oh yeah, and I've upped my challenge goal back to 300. Fun times!

I know I should say something about my writing but honestly, I don't want to. I will say, I ALWAYS expect things to be easy - school, marriage, childbirth (no words!), writing a book, but they NEVER are.

So...that's all folks!

The 200 Book Reading Challenge

2013 Reading Challenge

Timendu has
read 37 books toward her goal of 200 books.

hide

37 of 200 (18%)

view books

Yes, I changed my goal again. Let's face it, if I'm going to be reading all those romance novels (and I will), then the tally is going to go up rather quickly. Romance novels are definitely smack dab in the middle of my comfort zone, and since I'm trying not to over indulge with chocolate, cake, or chocolate cake, then well...hello Nora!

Also, this past week I was kinda sorta under the weather - nauseous, poor appetite, insomnia, headaches - bring on the comforting. That's not to say, I won't try to expand my horizon and read things I would normally not read. However, I won't lie...I really like my comfort zone.

In other news, work has resumed. I've started on the wrong foot and am behind schedule, but that should be sorted out by tomorrow. I've decided to put my personal feelings aside, and be a disciplined professional. Yup. A Disciplined Professional.

I'm not entirely happy with my prep work for Good Intentions, but I have to start. Writing is rewriting, I've been told, so I suppose I should just jump to it.

Wish me luck. I'm actually a little nervous.

PS. I write the weekly column Rita's Road for Poise Finishing School's insert in Business Day newspaper (every Tuesday). If you could check it out, and let me know what you think, I would really appreciate it. Muchos Gracias, and have a great week.

So...

Let's start with the bad news. I think I've put on weight. I don't want to talk about it. I'll just make myself feel better by having a couple of jammy dodgers, and a Coke.

In other news, SuperGoo is still on vacation. I hear the theme songs of all her Disney Jr. and Nick Jr. shows in my sleep. When we do turn off the TV, she scribbles then tries to stab me with her crayons.

Sigh.

Oh, she naps for all of two hours, and doesn't fall asleep till late.

And, she thinks I double as a Jungle Gym.

Ain't motherhood great?

As far as my reading challenge goes, I've gone through five books, but according to goodreads.com - At my current pace, I am one book behind. Thanks a lot. Nothing I love more than pressure.

Maybe childbirth.

Anyway, I've decided to cheat with romance novels. They're nice, short, and don't require me to be fully awake, or lucid. No disrespect. It's a genre I have enjoyed for many, many, many years.

In writing news, all I've done is respond to interview questions (borrowed from J.R. Ward's The Black Dagger Brotherhood: An Insider's Guide) for my heroine/protagonist for Good Intentions. I should actually be banging out an outline.

On the income side of things, I'm still talking contracts for possible freelance jobs, and exchanged a couple of emails with an illustrator for a non-fiction book I'm editing. I'm waiting for everyone, including myself, to get back to me.

How about I add you to the list ? Check out my heroine/protagonist's response sheet below, and let me know what you think. Feel free to send interview questions of your own.

MARY

Age: 26

Marital Status: Married. 2 months.

Height: 5'9

Weight: 60kg

Hair Colour: Black. Shoulder length when relaxed.

Eye Colour: Light Brown.

Identifying Physical Marks: Gap teeth with overbite. Multiple birthmarks scattered all over her back.

Occupation: Model/Housewife

Dimensions: 34 - 28 - 32

Description: Mary was beautiful, tall and somewhat striking, for such a shy person. You could almost feel her willing herself to be invisible. Maybe that's why she was such a great runway model, she was the perfect clotheshorse. Designers loved her. Skinny, with just enough curves to satisfy the local clientele, but not so much as to throw off a design. She was damn near perfect. If only she wasn't scared of cameras.

Married to: Tochukwu Clement Okoro.

Last Movie Watched: Love, Actually

Last Book Read: Summerhouse by Jude Devereux

Favourite TV Show: The Late Show with David Letterman

Last TV Show watched: Desperate Housewives

Last game played: Scrabble (with the computer as an opponent)

Greatest Fear: Divorce by Adultery

Greatest Love: God

Favourite Quote: My beloved is mine, and I am his.

Preferred Sleepwear: T-Shirt and Shorts

Watch: Kate Spade (a gift from Tochukwu)

Car: I don't drive

What time is it while you're filling this out?: 2 p.m.

Where are you?: In the parlour

What are you wearing?: T-Shirt and Shorts

What's in your closet?: Skinny jeans, a couple of black pants, lots and lots of T-Shirts in different colours, One black blazer, and one army green jacket. a couple of sundresses, a couple of leggings - one purple, one pink (got them at a show, never worn), a couple of dress shirts, one ankara dress from Jewel by Lisa (I saw it and couldn't resist), ballet flats in different colours, one pair of black Mary Janes, One brown Fossil handbag, jewellery box with one gold set from my mum, a lot of studs, and a lot of costume jewellery necklaces. A lot of skin care creams. A fully stocked, barely touched make up bag.

What was the last thing you ate?: Can't remember.

Describe your last dream: I can't remember. I did dream. It wasn't pleasant, but I can't remember a thing about it.

Coke or Pepsi?: Coke.

Audrey Hepburn or Marilyn Monroe?: Can I say both? One is strong and classy, the other's feminine and sexy. I love them both.

Omotola or Genevieve?: I love Genevieve, but Omo-sexy is so sexy.

Sports or Video Games?: Video Games, although I love to swim.

What do you like most about Tochukwu?: He’s so attentive. He’s always there when I need him.

First words spoken to him: “I’m not bored. I’m tired, and I want to go home”.

His response was: “I want to go home too! Wow! We have something in common”.

Last gift given to him: Had a cake delivered to his office on his birthday.

Most romantic thing he’s ever done for you: Proposed. He somehow managed to get a private dinner set up in one of my favourite restaurants on the island. It was on the 5th anniversary of our relationship, and I thought he just wanted to make it special. The mood was perfect. There were candles and everything. There was even some jazz playing, I think. When he went down on one knee, just before dessert, I swear, I almost threw up.

Most romantic thing you’ve done for him: Surprised him with some designer cufflinks he had mentioned wanting on Valentine’s Day.

Anything you’d change about him: No. I think he’s amazing just the way he is.

Best Friend: Naomi. We’ve been BFFs since secondary school. She’s like a sister to me.

Last time you cried:  No comment.

Last time you laughed: No comment.

Happy New Year!

Hey! Hey! Hey! It's 2013.

Welcome to the New Year.

I didn't put up a post earlier because I was not so compelled, and also because I was recovering from crossing over. Normally, it takes me a day of sleeping it off, but with a toddler who we shall call SuperGoo, well, let's just say I'm still sleepy.

Anyway, it's the New Year. And as a good citizen of Earth, I should have plans and goals. Well, gosh darn it, I do!

This is the year of my 300 Book Reading Challenge. Ridiculous, I know, but if it were feasible like a 52 Book Reading Challenge, then I wouldn't be interested. I'm one of those 'dream the impossible dream' people. A recipe for heartache, I tell you, but ooh what a rush. So far, I have finished one book - Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. I enjoyed it. It was a delightful romp with angels, demons, switched babies, and what I consider, a very cheeky premise.

I'm in the middle of Francine Prose's How to Read Like A Writer, and have just read the first seven chapters of The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives by Lola Shoneyin for The (Unnamed) Book Club. Expect an update on that soon.

Writing goals? Well, The Plan was to improve my craft while writing six short stories from January to June, and then write Good Intentions from July to December. But, then, I read Good Omens which made me dream up a totally unrelated idea that haunts me. So, the six short stories have been given the bump for Good Intentions, then I will write The Other Story from July to December. I hear you! Foolhardy. Sigh. I'm an all or nothing sort of girl.

Oh Lord, let it not be nothing.

On the Writing for Hire front, things are still kinda up in the air, but I would very much like to work only for the first six months of the year, then use the remaining months to focus on Writing for Myself. At least, that was the plan when I was doing the Six Short Stories and A Novel thing. Now...errr...

On the Weight Loss Goal, I would like to lose 10kg but 5kg would not be bad. I would like to go down two dress sizes, but one would be satisfactory. What's the plan? Well, I thought I would Zumba, Skip, Swim and do some Yoga. You know, slow and steady type of thing. However, Papa Goo got me the Insanity Workout DVD. Yay!

No. Not really.

Sigh. So we'll see.

Ah, well, Happy New Year!