Hello you.
Yes. I've been away. I've been...errr...busy. That's right.
Busy.
No, there is no other blog. I haven't even put up a Facebook note. Honest.
:)
Anyway, enough crazy talk. Here's my unfinished nanowrimo piece of last year. Please let me know what you think. I stopped writing it because the world building, especially creating the magic system, was driving me crazy. Enjoy!
CHAPTER 1
It was getting dark. That was the thought that crossed Kandara’s mind as she watched her father walk down the beach towards the ocean with a white cock in his left hand and a small knife in his right. It was high tide and the waves roared and crashed unmercifully against the sands before they slipped back. The cock wailed in fear and anger, but the waves paid it no mind and neither did her father.
She walked a little distance behind him, with her twin sister, Kajol, by her side. They both carried little clay pots covered with leaves, and had to walk carefully on the sands to make sure the contents did not fall out. A flash of lightening brightened the sky, followed by a clap of thunder. Kandara glanced at her sister. Kajol didn’t even flinch.
She is not afraid, thought her father, as he took purposeful steps forward. He didn’t look back, but he knew she was still behind him. He could sense her spirit. She has always had a strong presence, he thought, I have to teach her to temper it or she will overwhelm the villagers. He reached the shore line, and turned his thoughts to the business at hand.
There was a slight breeze and his white wrapper billowed around his ankles. As he waded into the water, his voice boomed with an incantation for their deity. “Opubeni! Dibaere! Great mother and sustainer of life!”
The girls stepped forward with their arms outstretched, their gifts in front of them. Her father continued, “this day, we humbly come before you,” he had waded deeper into the water, bracing himself against the onslaught of the waves. The beach sand wasn’t much help but as the chief priest to the Sea goddess, he had been doing this since he had come of age. Time may have sapped his strength but it had also gifted him with experience. The water whipped and frothed around his thighs now as he continued, “trusting in your mercy, we seek your wisdom.” His daughters reached the shore line and waited.
“Reveal your will to us. Direct our thoughts.
Open our eyes to behold your ways
That we may speak your truth to your people.” his voice boomed, over the waves “that we may direct their path according to your desire”.
The girls placed the pots in the water simultaneously and immediately the waves softened and quietened, and took the pots in.
The sky darkened quickly, and suddenly. Then a flash of lightening, a clap of thunder and a loud wail from the cock as their father ran the knife cleanly across its neck. Its legs struggled against its binds and its wings whipped about frantically but it was dead.
Another flash of lightening, another clap of thunder, and the cock was flung into the ocean. It hit the water and Kandara imagined she heard a splash but that would have been impossible. The waves had gotten louder and higher, but would break just before they reached the shore so the trio of worshippers were not in much danger. At least not from the waves, the sands gave way beneath their feet and they had to finish their business quickly or the sands would offer them to the ocean.
“Opubeni! Dibaere! Great mother and sustainer of life!” boomed the chief priest again - and then he dove into the ocean.
Kandara hated this part. They would have to wait for him to return. The only danger was that his return was not his decision. If the Sea Godess was pleased with the offering, then she would send back the Chief Priest with a message for the villagers.
If the Sea Goddess was not pleased with the offering, their father would not return.
********************************************************
A few miles from the Great Ocean, just past a small but rich rainforest was their village. It was named Periama by her founders because they believed that the land that they built their homes on was a sacred gift from the Sea Goddess, Opubeni. Local folklore said that land where they had their homes, farms, village square and shrine was once all under the sea. Kabowei, the first man birthed by Eneyi, the Mother of all Gods, had placed him in the care of Opubeni, her daughter because there was unrest in the land of the Gods. Upon receiving Kabowei, Opubeni realised that he could not survive in her watery world and so to ensure his survival, she retreated just a little and gave up a small body of land. This, along with the regular bounty of sea food was enough to ensure his survival, and Eneyi, seeing that he was in good hands, sent down Ebiere, the first woman to be his wife.
As time went by, the man and woman grew to be a family then a tribe and then a village. Opubeni, gave up more and more land, and Kabowei’s ancestors showed their gratitude with gifts, worship and devotion. They declared her to be their saviour and deity, deciding that they would have no king, for the leadership of Opubeni was more than enough. A pair of twin boys were chosen to be her priests and the village agreed that their descendants would always be priests of Opubeni. These priests would offer the gifts and prayers of the village to the Sea Goddess, and would receive her counsel and judgement on their behalf.
These priests served Opubeni and the people of Periama well for they were faithful worshippers of the Sea Goddess and the people prospered because of them. However, with time and with every new generation, devotion to Periama waned and the priests paid the price for this cooling of the villagers’ faith. That was why there was fear in the village air tonight. For the tide had been rising, but not receding as far back as it used to, and many feared Opubeni had tired of them, and wanted her land back.
There were whispered rumours of an abomination among the people. An abomination that would anger even the kind and merciful Eneyi, if she still bothered to visit with men, but none of the rumours could tell for sure what it was.
“I have heard”, a woman whispered to her husband in their hut, “that someone may be worshipping an evil spirit.”
“What evil spirit?” her husband asked, his voice tired.
“I don’t know!” was her hasty reply, “you know, I don’t know of these things, but you -”
“Me what?”
“You spend your days in the forest -”
“Hunting game.”
“Are you saying there are no evil spirits in that forest?”
“I have not seen or heard of such things.”
“But Peretin, the palm wine tapper’s wife said her husband had heard the sounds of strange beings dancing in the forest.”
“Strange beings?” he laughed, “and how do you know that these strange beings were not the fruit of tasting too much palm wine?”
She opened her mouth to answer, but he stops her short with a raised palm, “Feed me, please. Then you can regale me with the tapper’s palm wine induced tales.”
She snorted, but got up and went in to prepare his meal. He muttered to himself, “Evil spirit? Opubeni, have mercy.”
********************************************************
Opubeni would claim him as an offering for reparation of the village’s offence. Kandara and Kajol would be the new Chief Priests, and they would have thirty days to appease the goddess before she took back her land and allowed the sea to submerge the village.
Kandara whimpered as her eyes searching for her father in the raging waters. “Opubeni, have mercy“, she prayed.
“You are afraid.” Kajol said, her eyes also locked on the waves.
“You are not!”
“No.”
“Why?”
“There is nothing to fear.”
“What?” her eyes wide in disbelief as he she turned to look at her twin. “Father may not return!”
“That is a possibility. Especially if you consider the warning signs.”
“You would be pleased with Father’s death?”
“My pleasure or displeasure is of no relevance here. Opubeni will do as she wills”, she replied coolly, glancing at her sister, “it would serve you well to remember that.”
“But Opubeni is kind. Opubeni is merciful.” flung Kandara, desperation creeping into her voice.
“Opubeni is a goddess. And Father is her Priest, as are we. We live to serve her. We are simply her instruments.”
“Shut up.”
Kajol laughed, short and mean. “Very well. It doesn’t change the truth.”
“Truth?”
“Stop shouting. We aren’t even supposed to be speaking.”
“Truth?” a whisper now, “Do you want Father to die?”
“Resting in Opubeni’s arms is the highest honour.”
“Sometimes I hate you.”
Another laugh. “I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t want Father to die.”
“It doesn’t matter what we want.”
“Do you want Father to die?”
Sigh. “I don’t think of it that way.”
“How do you think of it?”
Pause. “I think of my options.”
“Options?”
“Yes, options. Right now, I’m thinking when Father returns we will have to tell the village Opubeni’s message, and prepare the thanksgiving offerings. If the message requires an offering, we will have to prepare that as well. If Father does not return, we will have to tell the village that as well. We will have to prepare for the Priesthood ceremony, and it will have to be done quickly. We will have to come back to Opubeni, and -”
“I’m not ready!” Kandara muttered.
“Ready?” a frown furrowed her face, then cleared, “oh”, another short laugh.
“I don’t think I will ever be ready.”
Kajol’s eyes narrowed to slits as she turned to look at Kandara. Kandara’s head is bowed in shame, and she’s afraid to look at her sister.
“I don’t think I want to be Opubeni’s Priestess.” Kandara said, her voice a whisper, barely audible over the roaring of the waves.
********************************************************
In the land of the gods, there was trouble once more. Then again, the trouble that started in the time of Kabowei and Ebiere never really stopped. No, it simmered and now had come to a boil. Eneyi, the all powerful mother, was facing dissent in her kingdom. She was not troubled. She was not even worried, but her children, Opubeni, Agunowei, and Kirikeme were. They had abandoned their duties as protectors of mankind and had returned to their mother’s aid.
“You should return to your wards.” Eneyi said, for what seemed to her to be the umpteenth time.
“Don’t be silly, mother.” replied Opubeni, raising her voice, “we are here to help you handle this”
“I have handled it.”
“Obviously, not well enough”, Opubeni again, “ You don’t seem to understand the repercussions of your inaction.”
“Inaction?”
“Yes mother! You aren’t doing anything!”
“I have done enough. Nothing more needs to be done.”
“How can you -”
“Mother, we’re here now” Kirikeme cut in, “At least, let us take care of these rabble rousers for you.”
“ I wouldn’t call them rabble rousers, Kiri.”
“Okay, but they are trying to overthrow you.”
Eneyi laughed at that. “As if such a thing could be done.”
“It could, mother.” said Agunowei, you know it could.”
She smiled, “Agunowei, you have been with me the longest. You too are afraid of the throwaway insults of a few servants.”
“Servants that you have imbued with much power.”
“Only in the land of men. They have no power here.”
“True, mother, but if they get enough men to worship them or even fear them.”
“A very big if.” said Eneyi.
“A possibility none the less.” replied Agunowei, his voice gruff. Eneyi looked at him, then at her other two children. “That is why you must return to your wards.”
“No!” yelled Opubeni, “we are not leaving you alone, and that is final.”
Eneyi laughed again, then said, “Stay then, and look after my affairs. I will go down and look after yours.”
CHAPTER 2
Kajol looked at her sister’s bowed head, then turned back to look at the ocean. “I know” she said.
“I’ve always known. I have never understood why but -”
“Because I want to live a normal life.”
“What’s normal?”
“I don’t know.” she said, her voice distracted as her toes traced in the sand.
Kajol waited, not saying anything, not moving. The roar of the waves seemed louder.
“I want more in my life than just rituals and sacrifices.”
“Rituals and sacrifices are a part of everyone’s life.”
“Yes. A part. Not all encompassing. Kajol, we do nothing else!”
“That’s not true, dear sister”, she said, “ we listen to the demands of the dear dear villagers.”
Kandara sighed, then replied, “The villagers come with their prayers, not demands.”
Kajol hissed.
“It is our duty to help them -”
“A duty you tire of.”
“No. I do not tire of that. That is the one part of my life that gives me joy.”
“Joy?” said Kajol, and then threw back her head to laugh. “You expect too much from life, dear sister. Opubeni gives and Opubeni takes away. We just have to make do with our lot.”
“That is not enough for me.”
“Then you will live unsatisfied.”
“Are you satisified?”
“I do not seek satisfaction”,
That's all folks. I may go back to it. I don't know. What do you think?
PS. Deepest apologies to those who are having trouble leaving comments. I don't know why that's happening, but rest assured I will soon find a tech savvy friend to take care of it. Till that happens, feel free to leave me a comment on Twitter via @ChrisTimOere.
Muchos Gracias.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Back Story Monday:...then comes Timi with a baby carriage
It's Tuesday, but you got the rest of The Egg Shower yesterday, and I really want to give you some more Back Story on What Happened To Gypsy Black.
So where were we?
Oh yeah, burial, job, no job, wedding, honeymoon, then back to Lagos as Mrs. Someborri (can I hear an uh huh uh huh?). Before the wedding, I had sent in my resume for a financial position in an entertainment company. My degree is actually in Banking and Finance, and I had already successfully written the first diet (level?) of the CIS (Chartered Institute of Stockbrokers) exam. So...new job...in finance (blurgh!)...at least, it was in entertainment.
I was invited for the first interview, and it went well.
By the time I was called for the second interview, I wasn't feeling so great. I was nauseous, I felt bloated, and was generally very cranky. I'm pretty sure I was giving the MD evil looks throughout the interview, and was not at all surprised that I got a "We'll call you". I didn't care. I was kinda hoping they didn't. I just wanted to stay home, turn off all the lights, and lie down in bed forever.
Well, they didn't call back, and I got to stay home, turn off the lights, and lie down on the floor (at that spot the air conditioner never misses) for about 10 weeks. I did get up every other hour to puke, but hey, I got what I wanted, right?
Hmm.
Worst First Trimester Ever.
When that was over, it was pretty much smooth sailing.
Until the last trimester. Where I got tired of being pregnant, and large, and uncomfortable, and being kicked all the time (the girl was a dancer from the womb). To make myself feel better, I took a bottle of Coca Cola every day, and went through a pack of Mars mini bars every week.
Sigh.
And now, I will never be skinny again.
Ever.
*sniff sniff*
Anyway, I got a beautiful bambina out of the deal, so I can't complain. It's a pretty good deal.
What does all this have to do with Gypsy Black? I got pregnant. And to my surprise, was unable to do anything else till I had the baby.
After the baby, not only could I not get much work done, I wasn't getting much sleep either. That pretty much shut the door on any creative process for like a year. Now she's 1 year and 5 months, and is off to school (Playgroup) and Mummy gets to have moments like this to think, and read, and write. Phew!
Will Gypsy Black be back? Oh yes, but there will be changes.
So where were we?
Oh yeah, burial, job, no job, wedding, honeymoon, then back to Lagos as Mrs. Someborri (can I hear an uh huh uh huh?). Before the wedding, I had sent in my resume for a financial position in an entertainment company. My degree is actually in Banking and Finance, and I had already successfully written the first diet (level?) of the CIS (Chartered Institute of Stockbrokers) exam. So...new job...in finance (blurgh!)...at least, it was in entertainment.
I was invited for the first interview, and it went well.
By the time I was called for the second interview, I wasn't feeling so great. I was nauseous, I felt bloated, and was generally very cranky. I'm pretty sure I was giving the MD evil looks throughout the interview, and was not at all surprised that I got a "We'll call you". I didn't care. I was kinda hoping they didn't. I just wanted to stay home, turn off all the lights, and lie down in bed forever.
Well, they didn't call back, and I got to stay home, turn off the lights, and lie down on the floor (at that spot the air conditioner never misses) for about 10 weeks. I did get up every other hour to puke, but hey, I got what I wanted, right?
Hmm.
Worst First Trimester Ever.
When that was over, it was pretty much smooth sailing.
Until the last trimester. Where I got tired of being pregnant, and large, and uncomfortable, and being kicked all the time (the girl was a dancer from the womb). To make myself feel better, I took a bottle of Coca Cola every day, and went through a pack of Mars mini bars every week.
Sigh.
And now, I will never be skinny again.
Ever.
*sniff sniff*
Anyway, I got a beautiful bambina out of the deal, so I can't complain. It's a pretty good deal.
What does all this have to do with Gypsy Black? I got pregnant. And to my surprise, was unable to do anything else till I had the baby.
Will Gypsy Black be back? Oh yes, but there will be changes.
Monday, November 19, 2012
The Egg Shower (contd.)
Hey...It's late, and I'm tired, and my left ankle hurts (I have no idea why). I'm going to bed in a bit (still debating the wisdom of having a midnight snack in light of my recent weight gain), but I owe you the rest of The Egg Shower.
Here it is:
Mrs. Jones got up from the nest and hurried to her husband's side. "Why is she here?" she said, her voice shaking as she watched the hyena make her way through the party.
"For the celebration?" C.K. said, raising an eyebrow.
"Tell me the truth!"
"I-
"Jones! Aren't you going to come down and welcome me personally? Or is your wife going to do it?" Zelda yelled, her voice startling the Jones who looked down to see her pawing the foot of their tree.
"I-
"Don't you dare go down there" Mrs. Jones said.
"Come on down crane. Let's chat," called out Zelda, "I'll let you do all the talking. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
"Don't", Mrs. Jones said, and her eyes filled up with tears, "please."
He nodded, and said, "Very well", and then to Zelda, "My apologies, Zelda. I know I should come down and welcome you personally, but my wife needs me to warm the egg."
"Come down or I'll start eating your guests."
At that, all the meerkats zipped away, but the giraffes laughed. "Says one hyena", one said to a zebra.
"You can laugh, but there's no telling the tricks she could be up to", said the zebra, as she looked around, "maybe her pack is hiding and just waiting to pounce."
"I doubt that. Hyenas aren't that bright."
Zelda snarled and ran at the talking giraffe. The zebra that had been leaning forward to listen to the giraffe took off without a word of warning, but the giraffe just took a couple of steps back.
"You can't hurt me", she muttered, "you're just a stupid hyena". Zelda snarled, and then pounced on her. The giraffe shrieked, and a small stampede started as the guests tried to get away.
"Stop! Please stop!" Mrs. Jones called out, but the hyena ignored her or didn't hear her. The giraffe was trying to shake her off, but Zelda opened her mouth as wide as she could, and sunk her teeth into the giraffe's thigh.
Mrs. Jones eyes and red wattle like sac bulged as she watched the struggle, then she turned to her husband, "Do something, C.K.". He nodded and swooped down, past the running guests to the tussle.
"Zelda, let her go."
Zelda growled, and sunk her teeth further into the giraffe's thigh. The giraffe cried out in pain, and C.K. gulped as blood started to trickle down.
"Come now, Zelda", he said, lifting off the ground so he could be eye level with the hyena, "I thought you came to see me."
The hyena growled, blood gurgling in her throat, and sunk her teeth in.
"Zelda, please."
Zelda's eyes narrowed into slits and she jumped off the giraffe, taking a chunk of its flesh with her. The giraffe screamed and ran away with blood running down her leg. C.K. turned to look at his wife. She was crying. Zelda laughed, and he turned back to see her chewing, "I let her go".
Jones still in mid air, turned around, and flew back to his nest.
"Oh, thank the sky!", his wife said, hugging him as he landed. He squeezed her back with a smile, "I was hardly in any danger. You know hyenas aren't that bright."
"I heard that!" yelled Zelda.
"Well, what are you going to do about it?" yelled back C.K., puffing out his chest.
Zelda ran at the tree. She managed to take a few steps on its skinny trunk before sliding down with a snarl.
Jones snorted, and said to his wife, "I told you, not too bright."
"Come down, Jones", said Zelda, having up righted herself, "I just want to talk."
"Whatever you have to say to him, he can listen from up here", said Mrs. Jones, her wings still wrapped around her husband.
Zelda laughed. "I don't think he would like you to hear our discussion".
"My wife and I have no secrets."
"I don't think you would like to hear our discussion", said Zelda, still addressing Mrs. Jones.
Mrs. Jones looked at her husband, "What-
"Out with it hyena" yelled C.K., "and stop wasting our time."
"The lions are coming for me."
"Why should this concern me?"
"They are coming for me because of what you told them."
C.K. said, "I know you, like most animals on the savannah, think highly of me and believe that I share company with such kingly creatures as the lions, but it's just not true."
"They told me you told them."
"They told you? We now run with the lions, do we?"
"They told the leader of my pack."
"Hmm. Just like a hyena to fudge the details" C.K. said to his wife, who was still clutching his shoulders.
The hyena snarled. "You told them I killed one of their cubs."
"Did you not?"
"So you did tell them?"
"No, I did not."
"It was you. You told them you saw me snatch the cub and take it to the bush."
"Again with the accusations. Really Zelda-
"Shut up! You told them I crushed its skull!"
"Did you not?"
"How could I crush the skull of a lion cub. With these jaws? There's a reason hyenas scavenge."
"Your defence is of no interest to me. You should save it for the lions."
"They aren't interested in listening to a hyena. They attacked my pack, wounded our leader-
"How unfortunate-
"They said it was a warning, that she had to give up the hyena that killed the cub."
"And your pack gave you up? You should take your grouse to them."
"You are the reason they gave me up!"
"What on earth?!" he shrugged out of his wife's grip, and flew off the tree to hover above Zelda, "first, I'm the reason the lions are after you. Next, I'm the reason your pack gave you up. Really Zelda, what are you talking about?"
"You told one of my cousins that you saw me with a dead lion cub."
"I did see you with a dead lion cub."
"But I didn't kill it", she said, raising her voice, "I found it in the bush. It was already dead."
"A likely story."
"It's the truth."
"Fine. Again, of no concern to me."
"What do you mean it's of no concern to you? You told them I killed it."
"I mentioned, in passing, what I saw - you feeding on the carcass of a dead lion cub. If your cousin inferred something else, then how is that my fault?"
"You..."
"You see, I have no fault in this unfortunate misunderstanding."
Zelda nodded, and said, "Okay, come back and tell them that you only saw me with a dead cub, you didn't see me kill it."
"Why would I do that?"
"So they can defend me when the lions come back."
"They wouldn't stand a chance, but I meant why would I go with you to your pack?"
Zelda blinked, and shook her head as if to clear it, "So you can tell them the truth."
C.K. shrugged. Zelda took a couple of steps back, staring at him, "The lions will kill me."
"I would rather not be in the company of hyenas."
Zelda shook her head again, and started pacing. "Alright, go to the lions for me. Tell them this is all a misunderstanding."
"Again, why would I do that?"
"Because you started this misunderstanding."
"Unfortunate, but not my fault."
Zelda sighed, and stopped pacing. "If you tell them that you only saw me with the carcass-
"No, no, not possible."
"The lions won't hurt you-
"No, I mean I can't say that. I already told them one thing, if I went back to tell them something else it would look bad."
"They won't hurt you".
"Oh I know that, but my integrity would take a hit."
"Your integrity?"
"Yes. People won't believe a word i say afterwards if I do that."
"You lied. Your integrity already has holes in it."
"Just to you, and let's face it, you won't be here for long."
Zelda stared at him, then at Mrs. Jones, "You've got yourself quite a catch there."
"Why don't you leave Zelda?" C.K. said, "You've already disrupted my party. If you leave now, maybe try to get off the savannah, you may escape."
Zelda shook her head as he continued, "Although, I hear there are humans just outside the savannah, and they aren't very friendly. Only the sky knows what they would do to a hyena."
Just then she lunged upwards, but he was too high for her and she fell backwards unto her back with a whimper.
C.K. laughed and returned to his perch, then said, "Why don't you go home Zelda? Say goodbye to your family. Wrap this up with some dignity."
Zelda up righted herself and started jogging round the tree.
"What is she doing?" whispered Mrs. Jones who was now sitting on the egg. A stiff breeze blew at C.K.'s gold crown as he called out, "Zelda, what are you doing?"
She gave a short snarl, and picked up her pace.
"I don't know", he said to his wife. Then Zelda threw her body against the trunk of the skinny tree. Mrs. Jones gasped as the tree wobbled a bit but that might as well have been caused by the night breeze.
"Don't worry, my dear", said C.K. as he watched Zelda resume jogging round the tree, "It's a skinny tree but her weak hyena body will never break it."
Zelda threw herself against the tree again. More wobbling. Back to jogging.
C.K. continued, "At least not before the lions get here."
"The lions are coming here?" his wife asked, as she adjusted herself more securely on the nest.
"Yes. By now they must have heard about the disruption of our party by a hyena. They'll know it's the same hyena that they are looking for."
Zelda threw herself again. The tree wobbled. "C.K.", Mrs. Jones said, and he turned around to see her with her wings spread out as the nest wobbled. "She's trying to crash the nest."
"Zelda! Stop!" C.K. yelled, spreading out his wings to fly down to face her.
"No, don't leave. Your weight will make it harder for her."
C.K. nodded and went to join his wife on the nest, as Zelda continued her assault.
They huddled together, and she whispered to him, "I love you."
He scratched her back with his beak, and said, "I love you too."
"What did you tell the lions?"
"The truth", he replied, squaring his shoulders.
"Which is?"
"Zelda killed their cub."
Mrs. Jones inhaled, then asked, "You saw it happen?"
"I didn't have to see it happening. I saw her feeding on the dead cub in the bush. I knew what had happened."
"So you went to the lions and told them that Zelda had snatched their cub from under their noses, crushed its skull and was eating it? Did you see all this happen?."
"What else could have happened?"
"Maybe Zelda is telling the truth."
"What does it matter?"
"She'll die because of something you said."
C.K. huffed and shrugged his shoulders, "Everyone dies eventually. It's the when and how that's the question."
"And you're okay with being the how in this question?"
"What? How is this my fault?"
"Why did you have to tell the lions? Even if you truly believed that hyena killed a lion cub. Why did YOU have to be the one to talk?"
"I had to tell what I saw", he said.
Mrs. Jones looked down, and said, "The lions are here."
One lion and three lionesses had appeared soundlessly from the darkness, and surrounded Zelda and the tree.
Zelda's teeth were bared, and she was breathing heavily. The lion roared, and Zelda whimpered, backing up till her back hit the tree's trunk.
"This will be over quickly", said the lion.
"No", snarled one of the lionesses, her eyes glinting in the moonlight, "She killed my baby. I want her to suffer."
"There is no honour in that", replied the lion, staring at the quivering hyena, "besides, she seems weak. I doubt it could provide sport even if you wanted it to."
The loin roared again, and Zelda whimpered.
"You see", he said, addressing his consorts, "Too weak even for sport."
Zelda sniffed and said, "I didn't kill that cub."
The lion raised his head to the cranes in the tree above, "We were told otherwise."
C.K. cleared his throat, and flew down to the lion, "Err yes, as I said before, err, I did indeed see a hyena, err, kill a lion cub."
"Was it this hyena?" the lion asked quietly.
"Well, I did see this hyena eating the remains of the cub, so one can only assume-
"One can only assume that I was scavenging" Zelda said, spitting the words out with a snarl.
"On my baby", screamed the lioness, as she lunged for Zelda. Zelda raised her paws to fight the lioness off but they got caught in her attacker's mouth. C.K. flapped himself back up the tree, out of harm's way.
"Stop", the lion roared, but the lioness clamped her jaws shut and crushed the bones in Zelda's paw. Zelda howled, and the other lionesses pounced.
"It's calling its pack."
"The nerve of the lowlife".
Blood splattered on the tree's trunk of the tree, and the sound of ripping flesh was heard as bits of fur and innards flew about. Zelda was being torn apart.
"C.K." said Mrs. Jones, burying her head in her husband's feathers.
"It will be over soon." he whispered, and it was.
The lions left, and the silence of the savannah washed over the cranes.
Mrs. Jones raised her head, and said, "You did this."
"What?" he asked, blinking, still holding her in his arms.
She pushed him off her and walked to their nest.
"I love you but I will not raise a chick with you", she said, and nudged their egg out of their nest and off the tree.
"What? No!" he said, reaching for her, and then flying down to catch the egg, and then watching it slip through his feathers.
Crack! It landed on some of Zelda's remains; its content seeping out and running alongside her blood. He raised his head, "What have you done?"
"I want nothing to do with you", she said, and then she flew away.
That was the last time he saw her.
Here it is:
Mrs. Jones got up from the nest and hurried to her husband's side. "Why is she here?" she said, her voice shaking as she watched the hyena make her way through the party.
"For the celebration?" C.K. said, raising an eyebrow.
"Tell me the truth!"
"I-
"Jones! Aren't you going to come down and welcome me personally? Or is your wife going to do it?" Zelda yelled, her voice startling the Jones who looked down to see her pawing the foot of their tree.
"I-
"Don't you dare go down there" Mrs. Jones said.
"Come on down crane. Let's chat," called out Zelda, "I'll let you do all the talking. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
"Don't", Mrs. Jones said, and her eyes filled up with tears, "please."
He nodded, and said, "Very well", and then to Zelda, "My apologies, Zelda. I know I should come down and welcome you personally, but my wife needs me to warm the egg."
"Come down or I'll start eating your guests."
At that, all the meerkats zipped away, but the giraffes laughed. "Says one hyena", one said to a zebra.
"You can laugh, but there's no telling the tricks she could be up to", said the zebra, as she looked around, "maybe her pack is hiding and just waiting to pounce."
"I doubt that. Hyenas aren't that bright."
Zelda snarled and ran at the talking giraffe. The zebra that had been leaning forward to listen to the giraffe took off without a word of warning, but the giraffe just took a couple of steps back.
"You can't hurt me", she muttered, "you're just a stupid hyena". Zelda snarled, and then pounced on her. The giraffe shrieked, and a small stampede started as the guests tried to get away.
"Stop! Please stop!" Mrs. Jones called out, but the hyena ignored her or didn't hear her. The giraffe was trying to shake her off, but Zelda opened her mouth as wide as she could, and sunk her teeth into the giraffe's thigh.
Mrs. Jones eyes and red wattle like sac bulged as she watched the struggle, then she turned to her husband, "Do something, C.K.". He nodded and swooped down, past the running guests to the tussle.
"Zelda, let her go."
Zelda growled, and sunk her teeth further into the giraffe's thigh. The giraffe cried out in pain, and C.K. gulped as blood started to trickle down.
"Come now, Zelda", he said, lifting off the ground so he could be eye level with the hyena, "I thought you came to see me."
The hyena growled, blood gurgling in her throat, and sunk her teeth in.
"Zelda, please."
Zelda's eyes narrowed into slits and she jumped off the giraffe, taking a chunk of its flesh with her. The giraffe screamed and ran away with blood running down her leg. C.K. turned to look at his wife. She was crying. Zelda laughed, and he turned back to see her chewing, "I let her go".
Jones still in mid air, turned around, and flew back to his nest.
"Oh, thank the sky!", his wife said, hugging him as he landed. He squeezed her back with a smile, "I was hardly in any danger. You know hyenas aren't that bright."
"I heard that!" yelled Zelda.
"Well, what are you going to do about it?" yelled back C.K., puffing out his chest.
Zelda ran at the tree. She managed to take a few steps on its skinny trunk before sliding down with a snarl.
Jones snorted, and said to his wife, "I told you, not too bright."
"Come down, Jones", said Zelda, having up righted herself, "I just want to talk."
"Whatever you have to say to him, he can listen from up here", said Mrs. Jones, her wings still wrapped around her husband.
Zelda laughed. "I don't think he would like you to hear our discussion".
"My wife and I have no secrets."
"I don't think you would like to hear our discussion", said Zelda, still addressing Mrs. Jones.
Mrs. Jones looked at her husband, "What-
"Out with it hyena" yelled C.K., "and stop wasting our time."
"The lions are coming for me."
"Why should this concern me?"
"They are coming for me because of what you told them."
C.K. said, "I know you, like most animals on the savannah, think highly of me and believe that I share company with such kingly creatures as the lions, but it's just not true."
"They told me you told them."
"They told you? We now run with the lions, do we?"
"They told the leader of my pack."
"Hmm. Just like a hyena to fudge the details" C.K. said to his wife, who was still clutching his shoulders.
The hyena snarled. "You told them I killed one of their cubs."
"Did you not?"
"So you did tell them?"
"No, I did not."
"It was you. You told them you saw me snatch the cub and take it to the bush."
"Again with the accusations. Really Zelda-
"Shut up! You told them I crushed its skull!"
"Did you not?"
"How could I crush the skull of a lion cub. With these jaws? There's a reason hyenas scavenge."
"Your defence is of no interest to me. You should save it for the lions."
"They aren't interested in listening to a hyena. They attacked my pack, wounded our leader-
"How unfortunate-
"They said it was a warning, that she had to give up the hyena that killed the cub."
"And your pack gave you up? You should take your grouse to them."
"You are the reason they gave me up!"
"What on earth?!" he shrugged out of his wife's grip, and flew off the tree to hover above Zelda, "first, I'm the reason the lions are after you. Next, I'm the reason your pack gave you up. Really Zelda, what are you talking about?"
"You told one of my cousins that you saw me with a dead lion cub."
"I did see you with a dead lion cub."
"But I didn't kill it", she said, raising her voice, "I found it in the bush. It was already dead."
"A likely story."
"It's the truth."
"Fine. Again, of no concern to me."
"What do you mean it's of no concern to you? You told them I killed it."
"I mentioned, in passing, what I saw - you feeding on the carcass of a dead lion cub. If your cousin inferred something else, then how is that my fault?"
"You..."
"You see, I have no fault in this unfortunate misunderstanding."
Zelda nodded, and said, "Okay, come back and tell them that you only saw me with a dead cub, you didn't see me kill it."
"Why would I do that?"
"So they can defend me when the lions come back."
"They wouldn't stand a chance, but I meant why would I go with you to your pack?"
Zelda blinked, and shook her head as if to clear it, "So you can tell them the truth."
C.K. shrugged. Zelda took a couple of steps back, staring at him, "The lions will kill me."
"I would rather not be in the company of hyenas."
Zelda shook her head again, and started pacing. "Alright, go to the lions for me. Tell them this is all a misunderstanding."
"Again, why would I do that?"
"Because you started this misunderstanding."
"Unfortunate, but not my fault."
Zelda sighed, and stopped pacing. "If you tell them that you only saw me with the carcass-
"No, no, not possible."
"The lions won't hurt you-
"No, I mean I can't say that. I already told them one thing, if I went back to tell them something else it would look bad."
"They won't hurt you".
"Oh I know that, but my integrity would take a hit."
"Your integrity?"
"Yes. People won't believe a word i say afterwards if I do that."
"You lied. Your integrity already has holes in it."
"Just to you, and let's face it, you won't be here for long."
Zelda stared at him, then at Mrs. Jones, "You've got yourself quite a catch there."
"Why don't you leave Zelda?" C.K. said, "You've already disrupted my party. If you leave now, maybe try to get off the savannah, you may escape."
Zelda shook her head as he continued, "Although, I hear there are humans just outside the savannah, and they aren't very friendly. Only the sky knows what they would do to a hyena."
Just then she lunged upwards, but he was too high for her and she fell backwards unto her back with a whimper.
C.K. laughed and returned to his perch, then said, "Why don't you go home Zelda? Say goodbye to your family. Wrap this up with some dignity."
Zelda up righted herself and started jogging round the tree.
"What is she doing?" whispered Mrs. Jones who was now sitting on the egg. A stiff breeze blew at C.K.'s gold crown as he called out, "Zelda, what are you doing?"
She gave a short snarl, and picked up her pace.
"I don't know", he said to his wife. Then Zelda threw her body against the trunk of the skinny tree. Mrs. Jones gasped as the tree wobbled a bit but that might as well have been caused by the night breeze.
"Don't worry, my dear", said C.K. as he watched Zelda resume jogging round the tree, "It's a skinny tree but her weak hyena body will never break it."
Zelda threw herself against the tree again. More wobbling. Back to jogging.
C.K. continued, "At least not before the lions get here."
"The lions are coming here?" his wife asked, as she adjusted herself more securely on the nest.
"Yes. By now they must have heard about the disruption of our party by a hyena. They'll know it's the same hyena that they are looking for."
Zelda threw herself again. The tree wobbled. "C.K.", Mrs. Jones said, and he turned around to see her with her wings spread out as the nest wobbled. "She's trying to crash the nest."
"Zelda! Stop!" C.K. yelled, spreading out his wings to fly down to face her.
"No, don't leave. Your weight will make it harder for her."
C.K. nodded and went to join his wife on the nest, as Zelda continued her assault.
They huddled together, and she whispered to him, "I love you."
He scratched her back with his beak, and said, "I love you too."
"What did you tell the lions?"
"The truth", he replied, squaring his shoulders.
"Which is?"
"Zelda killed their cub."
Mrs. Jones inhaled, then asked, "You saw it happen?"
"I didn't have to see it happening. I saw her feeding on the dead cub in the bush. I knew what had happened."
"So you went to the lions and told them that Zelda had snatched their cub from under their noses, crushed its skull and was eating it? Did you see all this happen?."
"What else could have happened?"
"Maybe Zelda is telling the truth."
"What does it matter?"
"She'll die because of something you said."
C.K. huffed and shrugged his shoulders, "Everyone dies eventually. It's the when and how that's the question."
"And you're okay with being the how in this question?"
"What? How is this my fault?"
"Why did you have to tell the lions? Even if you truly believed that hyena killed a lion cub. Why did YOU have to be the one to talk?"
"I had to tell what I saw", he said.
Mrs. Jones looked down, and said, "The lions are here."
One lion and three lionesses had appeared soundlessly from the darkness, and surrounded Zelda and the tree.
Zelda's teeth were bared, and she was breathing heavily. The lion roared, and Zelda whimpered, backing up till her back hit the tree's trunk.
"This will be over quickly", said the lion.
"No", snarled one of the lionesses, her eyes glinting in the moonlight, "She killed my baby. I want her to suffer."
"There is no honour in that", replied the lion, staring at the quivering hyena, "besides, she seems weak. I doubt it could provide sport even if you wanted it to."
The loin roared again, and Zelda whimpered.
"You see", he said, addressing his consorts, "Too weak even for sport."
Zelda sniffed and said, "I didn't kill that cub."
The lion raised his head to the cranes in the tree above, "We were told otherwise."
C.K. cleared his throat, and flew down to the lion, "Err yes, as I said before, err, I did indeed see a hyena, err, kill a lion cub."
"Was it this hyena?" the lion asked quietly.
"Well, I did see this hyena eating the remains of the cub, so one can only assume-
"One can only assume that I was scavenging" Zelda said, spitting the words out with a snarl.
"On my baby", screamed the lioness, as she lunged for Zelda. Zelda raised her paws to fight the lioness off but they got caught in her attacker's mouth. C.K. flapped himself back up the tree, out of harm's way.
"Stop", the lion roared, but the lioness clamped her jaws shut and crushed the bones in Zelda's paw. Zelda howled, and the other lionesses pounced.
"It's calling its pack."
"The nerve of the lowlife".
Blood splattered on the tree's trunk of the tree, and the sound of ripping flesh was heard as bits of fur and innards flew about. Zelda was being torn apart.
"C.K." said Mrs. Jones, burying her head in her husband's feathers.
"It will be over soon." he whispered, and it was.
The lions left, and the silence of the savannah washed over the cranes.
Mrs. Jones raised her head, and said, "You did this."
"What?" he asked, blinking, still holding her in his arms.
She pushed him off her and walked to their nest.
"I love you but I will not raise a chick with you", she said, and nudged their egg out of their nest and off the tree.
"What? No!" he said, reaching for her, and then flying down to catch the egg, and then watching it slip through his feathers.
Crack! It landed on some of Zelda's remains; its content seeping out and running alongside her blood. He raised his head, "What have you done?"
"I want nothing to do with you", she said, and then she flew away.
That was the last time he saw her.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
The (Unnamed) Book Club
A few months ago, I let loose a bit of a rant on twitter about The Definition of an 'African' Writer, and how we are expected to write village square stories or colonial time stories or civil war stories. Basically, historical fiction. After my rant, and some distance, and some deep breathing, I became somewhat ashamed of myself.
What right did I have to complain about the type of work African writers are expected to produce? First of all, where is my body of work? Second, how many African writers have I actually read? Where did I get the idea that there was a stereotype aspiring authors like myself had to conform to? Shame on me.
So, I decided that next year, as part of my 300 book reading challenge (more on that later), I would read more African authors. Enter my BFF, Cho, who out of the blue asked me to start a book club.
"Why?"
"Maybe it will encourage me to read more".
Hmm. I ran the idea by our mutual friend, Joy, who said, "I've been meaning to start a book club, but never got around to it". Well, then, I was gingered. I asked them some more questions on the number of books we would read - 1 a month, the genres, and other little details. We all agreed to think of a name later, but I was so excited about it (books!!!) that I opened a Blackberry group with the the tentative name - The (Unnamed) Book Club. Little did I know, that once (Unnamed) forever shall it be. Thankfully, the other 12 members of our all female group (which includes Ann) like the quirky name (no one has said they hate it, so yay!).
We don't officially start reading and discussing the books till next year (which is just around the corner), but so far, it has been fun. First, there were nominations, and then campaigns, and then votes. Just this Sunday, the polls closed and we have our reading list for 2013. Drum roll please....
January - The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives by Lola Shoneyin
February - I've Got Your Number by Sophie Kinsella
March - The Mrs. Club by Ekene Onu
April - Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beechar Stowe
May - Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
June - To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
July - Half of A Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
August - Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
September - On Black Sisters Street by Chika Unigwe
October - Stardust by Neil Gaiman or The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis (we're still voting, but Stardust is in the lead. yay!)
November - Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
December - The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
I'M SO EXCITED!!!
PS. I nominated Fine Boys by Eghosa Imasuen but it didn't make the cut *sniff sniff*, but I'm going to mention it anyway because the author was nice enough to respond to my inquiry on twitter about an image of his book cover for my campaign.
Will you be taking a reading challenge next year? What books are you just dying to read?
PPS. Sigh. Internet is acting up (I hope that means it will rain tonight), and so that means alas, I cannot upload images of the book covers tonight, but mark my words, I will eventually.
(Cue evil laugh)
(Felt like the thing to do)
What right did I have to complain about the type of work African writers are expected to produce? First of all, where is my body of work? Second, how many African writers have I actually read? Where did I get the idea that there was a stereotype aspiring authors like myself had to conform to? Shame on me.
So, I decided that next year, as part of my 300 book reading challenge (more on that later), I would read more African authors. Enter my BFF, Cho, who out of the blue asked me to start a book club.
"Why?"
"Maybe it will encourage me to read more".
Hmm. I ran the idea by our mutual friend, Joy, who said, "I've been meaning to start a book club, but never got around to it". Well, then, I was gingered. I asked them some more questions on the number of books we would read - 1 a month, the genres, and other little details. We all agreed to think of a name later, but I was so excited about it (books!!!) that I opened a Blackberry group with the the tentative name - The (Unnamed) Book Club. Little did I know, that once (Unnamed) forever shall it be. Thankfully, the other 12 members of our all female group (which includes Ann) like the quirky name (no one has said they hate it, so yay!).
We don't officially start reading and discussing the books till next year (which is just around the corner), but so far, it has been fun. First, there were nominations, and then campaigns, and then votes. Just this Sunday, the polls closed and we have our reading list for 2013. Drum roll please....
January - The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives by Lola Shoneyin
February - I've Got Your Number by Sophie Kinsella
March - The Mrs. Club by Ekene Onu
April - Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beechar Stowe
May - Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
June - To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
July - Half of A Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
August - Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
September - On Black Sisters Street by Chika Unigwe
October - Stardust by Neil Gaiman or The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis (we're still voting, but Stardust is in the lead. yay!)
November - Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
December - The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
I'M SO EXCITED!!!
PS. I nominated Fine Boys by Eghosa Imasuen but it didn't make the cut *sniff sniff*, but I'm going to mention it anyway because the author was nice enough to respond to my inquiry on twitter about an image of his book cover for my campaign.
Will you be taking a reading challenge next year? What books are you just dying to read?
PPS. Sigh. Internet is acting up (I hope that means it will rain tonight), and so that means alas, I cannot upload images of the book covers tonight, but mark my words, I will eventually.
(Cue evil laugh)
(Felt like the thing to do)
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
I'm a Writer: A Day in the Life
Hi! Tuesday meets me ignoring the dishes in the sink, and the mess in the bedrooms. I need, I want, I have to...(Don't you just love pressure)...write 5 articles for a client. Now this client has been very understanding, but enough is enough. I need to finish not just so I can fulfill my obligation to them for the year, not just so I can get my money (Yay! money), but also so I can get down with my nanowrimo project: Good Intentions. A novel about love, marriage and expectations. I'm hoping it will be Jodi Picoult meets Marian Keyes.
Anyway, 5 articles. To write. Today.
Each 800 words (no big deal).
Will I write all 4,000 words tonight? It's possible, but I don't think I will. Actually, I don't know if I can, but who knows.
Wish me luck. Or whatever it is that will give me the ginger.
Anyway, 5 articles. To write. Today.
Each 800 words (no big deal).
Will I write all 4,000 words tonight? It's possible, but I don't think I will. Actually, I don't know if I can, but who knows.
Wish me luck. Or whatever it is that will give me the ginger.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Back Story Monday: The Day of The 3 in 1 Meal
Hey.
Would you believe I thought today was Tuesday? I have no idea why. Hmm. I gotta lay off the chocolate. It's messing with my mind...and waistline...and weight loss goal.
Ah well, It's Monday! This means I owe you some back story on what has happened, and what I've been up to between Gypsy Black and now.
Well, my dad died. We buried him. I got a job at a publishing house. It was a learning experience. I'm not gonna get into it 'cos...I'm not. Let's just say I realised that I really don't enjoy being an employee. So I quit. After 6 months. Just in time for my CFA exam, and my wedding. Yeah, I got engaged. Then married.
What was my wedding like? Well. In retrospect, not half bad. I enjoyed some things. Threw a couple of tantrums and got away with it. Discovered what a diplomatic man Papa Goo was. You know, regular Nigerian, three ring circus wedding stuff. I even wrote an article about it.
After the wedding, we had a lovely honeymoon in Ghana at a hotel that sits right on the beach. I loved it. And I loved the restaurant. I got married a size 8 going on 10, and came back from my honeymoon a size 12. The food was that good. The most memorable day, was the day of the 3 in 1 meal.
You see, Papa Goo is not adventurous when it comes to his meals. He'll eat rice all day, every day, if he can get away with it. Everything else is not food. So you can imagine his consternation (Presenting our Word of The Day), when the restaurant did not have rice on its menu. How did he go around this? He ordered only chicken dishes, because they came with a side dish of rice. However, it meant he got more chicken than rice, and his rice loving tummy was not happy.
I, on the other hand, was having a marvelous time. I tried new things - fettuccine in white cheese (ugh!) and some old favourites (burger and fries), and don't get me started on the non alchoholic cocktails (Cinderella, anyone?). I left every meal stuffed, and happy. He left every meal full enough. Until the day of the 3 in 1 meal.
It was lunch time. We took a seat on one of the balconies overlooking the beach. We were close enough to feel the breeze and spray of the ocean, and taste the salt in the air. The waiter gave us our menus, and Papa Goo went for Spaghetti Bolognese.
"Close enough to rice, isn't it?"
I nodded, and glanced at the menu.
"I'm gonna order this Chicken Peri Peri thing", I said, and he shook his head.
"What?" I asked. Unnecessary question. I knew what.
"Nothing", he said, leaning back in his chair.
I looked back to the menu. Hmm. What if-
"You can order the Chicken Peri thingy? It's no big deal", he said.
"I will", I mumbled, "but I would also like those fries. They were delicious",
"So order the fries".
"They only come with the burger".
"Yeah?"
"I don't want the burger".
"Oh. No wahala. I'll take the burger".
"Sweet", I said. I may have done a fist pump. Yay, fries! And made my order.
The meals came back. Spaghetti Bolognese. Burger and Fries. And Chicken Peri Peri. Or if you prefer, white rice and stew with shredded chicken. Yup. Seriously.
Papa Goo was ecstatic. And that day, we both left our table stuffed, and happy, and have since lived happily ever after.
THE END.
(cue applause)
PS. Here's a quote from one of my Pastors, "Food is the love of God made edible".
Now that's food for thought.
Would you believe I thought today was Tuesday? I have no idea why. Hmm. I gotta lay off the chocolate. It's messing with my mind...and waistline...and weight loss goal.
Ah well, It's Monday! This means I owe you some back story on what has happened, and what I've been up to between Gypsy Black and now.
Well, my dad died. We buried him. I got a job at a publishing house. It was a learning experience. I'm not gonna get into it 'cos...I'm not. Let's just say I realised that I really don't enjoy being an employee. So I quit. After 6 months. Just in time for my CFA exam, and my wedding. Yeah, I got engaged. Then married.
What was my wedding like? Well. In retrospect, not half bad. I enjoyed some things. Threw a couple of tantrums and got away with it. Discovered what a diplomatic man Papa Goo was. You know, regular Nigerian, three ring circus wedding stuff. I even wrote an article about it.
After the wedding, we had a lovely honeymoon in Ghana at a hotel that sits right on the beach. I loved it. And I loved the restaurant. I got married a size 8 going on 10, and came back from my honeymoon a size 12. The food was that good. The most memorable day, was the day of the 3 in 1 meal.
You see, Papa Goo is not adventurous when it comes to his meals. He'll eat rice all day, every day, if he can get away with it. Everything else is not food. So you can imagine his consternation (Presenting our Word of The Day), when the restaurant did not have rice on its menu. How did he go around this? He ordered only chicken dishes, because they came with a side dish of rice. However, it meant he got more chicken than rice, and his rice loving tummy was not happy.
I, on the other hand, was having a marvelous time. I tried new things - fettuccine in white cheese (ugh!) and some old favourites (burger and fries), and don't get me started on the non alchoholic cocktails (Cinderella, anyone?). I left every meal stuffed, and happy. He left every meal full enough. Until the day of the 3 in 1 meal.
It was lunch time. We took a seat on one of the balconies overlooking the beach. We were close enough to feel the breeze and spray of the ocean, and taste the salt in the air. The waiter gave us our menus, and Papa Goo went for Spaghetti Bolognese.
"Close enough to rice, isn't it?"
I nodded, and glanced at the menu.
"I'm gonna order this Chicken Peri Peri thing", I said, and he shook his head.
"What?" I asked. Unnecessary question. I knew what.
"Nothing", he said, leaning back in his chair.
I looked back to the menu. Hmm. What if-
"You can order the Chicken Peri thingy? It's no big deal", he said.
"I will", I mumbled, "but I would also like those fries. They were delicious",
"So order the fries".
"They only come with the burger".
"Yeah?"
"I don't want the burger".
"Oh. No wahala. I'll take the burger".
"Sweet", I said. I may have done a fist pump. Yay, fries! And made my order.
The meals came back. Spaghetti Bolognese. Burger and Fries. And Chicken Peri Peri. Or if you prefer, white rice and stew with shredded chicken. Yup. Seriously.
Papa Goo was ecstatic. And that day, we both left our table stuffed, and happy, and have since lived happily ever after.
THE END.
(cue applause)
PS. Here's a quote from one of my Pastors, "Food is the love of God made edible".
 | |
| Spaghetti Bolognese with Burger and Fries |
 | |
| Half eaten Chicken Peri Peri |
It's not you, It's me.
So...how many of you know Steve Harris?
Show of hands please.
Lovely.
If you don't, check out his website.
Anyway, Harris is a life strategist. A kind of life coach meets bully. Seriously.
He just threatened to kick me off his program, if I didn't get here straightaway and update this 'ere blog.
So here I am. Hey, Harris *waving frantically*. We good?
Phew! The thing is, I'm not a brat. Or a difficult person. (ignore my lengthening nose please). I'm actually a well rounded individual with goals and deadlines and timelines, and do not at all struggle with procrastination, or poor time management, or an inability to prioritize. Nah! I'm damn near perfect.
My one flaw? I'm so talented, I think I can do everything.
It's true.
*Big grin*
Anyway, I'm sorry. Again. I got lazy. And a little overwhelmed. And mostly lazy. And so when the internet started acting up for a couple of days, I didn't come back. It's nothing personal I love that I have a blog, and that some people take time to check it out and even leave comments. Seriously! Like Wow! However, I'm a commitment-phobe so you're gonna have to be patient with me. Love me through my great days, and the days I don't show up without so much as a by your leave.
Why?
I'll make it worth your while. Honest. Just ask my husband.
And with that segue, check out Papa Goo's YouTube channel How She Left My Brother
PS. Yes, I know I owe you the rest of the egg shower. Wait till Thursday. Please. If I put it up now, then I may disappear for another 2 (or has it been 3) weeks.
Show of hands please.
Lovely.
If you don't, check out his website.
Anyway, Harris is a life strategist. A kind of life coach meets bully. Seriously.
He just threatened to kick me off his program, if I didn't get here straightaway and update this 'ere blog.
So here I am. Hey, Harris *waving frantically*. We good?
Phew! The thing is, I'm not a brat. Or a difficult person. (ignore my lengthening nose please). I'm actually a well rounded individual with goals and deadlines and timelines, and do not at all struggle with procrastination, or poor time management, or an inability to prioritize. Nah! I'm damn near perfect.
My one flaw? I'm so talented, I think I can do everything.
It's true.
*Big grin*
Anyway, I'm sorry. Again. I got lazy. And a little overwhelmed. And mostly lazy. And so when the internet started acting up for a couple of days, I didn't come back. It's nothing personal I love that I have a blog, and that some people take time to check it out and even leave comments. Seriously! Like Wow! However, I'm a commitment-phobe so you're gonna have to be patient with me. Love me through my great days, and the days I don't show up without so much as a by your leave.
Why?
I'll make it worth your while. Honest. Just ask my husband.
And with that segue, check out Papa Goo's YouTube channel How She Left My Brother
PS. Yes, I know I owe you the rest of the egg shower. Wait till Thursday. Please. If I put it up now, then I may disappear for another 2 (or has it been 3) weeks.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)